Thursday, February 25, 2010

Sharon Stone Sells House At Huge Loss

SELLER: Sharon Stone
LOCATION: N. Beverly Drive
PRICE: $8,995,000
SIZE: 6,640 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms

Just like so many regular folks around this U-nited States of America, celebrities are facing leviathan losses on the sale of property and it seems that almost everyday brings more news of another high-profile person stuck between a rock and a real estate hard place.

In February alone Your Mama has discussed real estate losses endured or expected by Beck in Malibu, Lil Wayne in Miami, Kate Walsh and Ashley Olsen in Los Angeles, Ashlee Simpson in Beverly Hills, Eddie Cibrian in Calabasas, and the current grandmuhmah of celebrity real estate calamities, Scarlett Johanson who recently listed her house in the Outpost Estates area of Los Angeles for a staggering $2,050,000 less than she paid for it in May of 2007.

The next cynosure of celebrity up to Your Mama's increasingly crowded plate of real estate catastrophe is Sharon Stone, the former Mack-Donalds counter gurl turned Oscar nominated actress, three times dee-vorced single mommy, tireless AIDS activist, fearless fashion maverick, and all around koo-koo bird. The middle aged vamp and dee-voon vortex of cuh-razee has a Beverly Hills, CA white elephant on the market for a seizure inducing $2,000,000 less than she paid for it nearly 4 years ago.

Let's get in our celebrity real estate time machines and go back to the beginning because this is quite a saga and Your Mama wants all the children to have a full understanding of Miz Stone's epic struggle. In March of 2006, the boob baring she-devil paid $10,995,000 for a N. Beverly Drive estate, purchasing the property from the very same gentleman who, y'all might be interested to know, subsequently bought the former Ridgedale Drive domicile of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Almost immediately, our favorite and ever so fickle femme fatale–who never even occupied the North Beverly Drive digs–had a real estate change of heart and just 4 months after signing on the dotted line flipped the posh property back on the market with a much inflated and characteristically cocky asking price of $12,500,000.

The 4.85 acre estate was de-listed and re-listed several times over the next year or so until November of 2007 when it vanished from the open market. In May of 2008 the property popped back up on the market with a new asking price of $10,000,000, a figure that represented a painful, million dollar plus loss for Miz Stone. At that point, our favorite mercurial minx decided that if no one wanted to buy the damn house then maybe someone would pay her a colossal clump of cash to lease the property. So that's just what She-rah Sharon did. According to multiple reports from the time, Miz Stone and her team of real estate people leased the property in the fall of 2008 at a rate of $35,000 per month to a bidness person whose name Your Mama knows but is of no consequence.

Sadly, butter beans, Miz Stone hasn't worked her sexpot stuff in a film of any note or success since 2006 when she appeared in Bobby and that embarrassing bomb Basic Instinct 2. Democrazy in 2007, $5 a Day in 2008 and Streets of Blood in 2009 just don't compare, count or keep a high-maintenance bee-hawtcha like Miz Stone rolling in clover. We're not saying the ladee is broke because she is most assuredly not. However, by late 2009 Your Mama imagines Miz Stone–not to mention her accountant–was 49 kinds of miffed, peeved and annoyed that this North Beverly Drive estate was still dragging down and draining her bank account. Once the tenant vacated the premises in the fall of 2009, the North Beverly Drive property was again hoisted onto the open market with a reduced asking price of $8,995,000. It doesn't take much bead flicking on our bejeweled abacus to figure out that's a mind numbing and ball busting two million dollars less than Miz Stone paid for the place nearly 4 years ago.

The privately situated estate sits at the tail end of North Beverly Drive, at the base of a steep hillside that rises dramatically like Miz Stone's personality up to the guard gated enclave of Beverly Park. The unoccupied property is, in fact, so close to Beverly Park that should our gal Sharon be so inclined she could strap on a pair of rubber-soled stilettos and scamper right up the hillside and into the backyards of Sylvester Stallone, Sumner Redstone and/or Paul Reiser. Spend a few minutes visualizing that tender morsel of dee-lishusness, children. Imagine settin' out back by the pool, the breeze rustles the leaves in the trees while your skin browns like butter and the birds chirp with summertime glee. Then, all of the sudden, up out of the scrub comes Sharon damn Stone in a fishnet bathing suit. Her lips are painted red like fire, her eyes a-glitter with audacity. After picking a few nettles from her cattywompus wig she says, "Syl, hunny, it's me, Share-bear. What? Oh, stop it right now. Don't you worry that cock-eyed little mouth of yours about the bushes I busted up climbing over your damn fence. I'll send Hector and Waynie up to fix that shit tomorrow. Now listen dolly, stud, man of many muscles, Momma needs a cup of sugar, a new Bentley and, damnations and tarnations, we gotta pay the got-damn property taxes on that albatross down there. We need a job. So, yummykins, do you think you could find it in your I-talian heart to throw this well preserved ol' bag a bone and slip me into a lead role in Rambo 17? Or maybe something in Rocky 12? Whaddaya say beefcakes?"

Anyhoo, listing information shows the new-fangled mock-Mediterranean main house measures 6,640 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 6 poopers. In addition to a state of the art media room and work out room, an additional detached guest house contains another 2 bedrooms and 2 poopers bringing the estate's total to 7 bedrooms and 8 poopers.

The interior rooms, all done up and did over with Venetian plaster, include a living room with inlaid and honed limestone floors, a fireplace and a row of glass sliders that disappear into the wall. The adjacent dining room, separated from the living room by a built in freestanding entertainment center, has a trio of gently arched windows that look out to the gardens and the gore-may kitchen has a not entirely harmonious combination of granite and butcher block counter tops, parquet flooring, and a walk-in pantry. Interestingly and much to Your Mama's chagrin, there is a mish-mash of appliances in the cookery. The range, which is, strangely, half the size of the vent hood, is stainless steel but the wall ovens are black. The main sink, a giant triple basin number, is white porcelain while the vegetable sink in the work island is stainless steel. This is okay in budget kitchen re-do where the owner has to buy whatever is on sale at the Home Despot, but it is inexcusable in a nine million dollar mansion.

Other rooms include a hardwood paneled den with ecru wall to wall carpeting, built in cabinetry, large six-pane windows, and a fireplace with green marble surround and hearth. We're not sure what that wood tray thing in the ceiling is but it's visually terrifying. The master suite, which an older listing called "lavish" includes wall to wall carpeting, billowing beige curtains, built in cabinetry fitted with a flat screen tee-vee, French doors that open to a private terrace, and a fireplace–the third of four in the house–stuck into the corner like an afterthought.

The walled, gated, heavily secured and lushly landscaped grounds include a circular drive, a lagoon style swimming pool, meandering pathways that criss-cross the property and lead to secluded sitting areas, a meditation garden surrounded by fruit trees, and a north/south lighted tennis court and its adjacent viewing pavilion.

Your Mama, who does not know a cook book from a cookie jar, doesn't know if Miz Stone ever intended to occupy the property on North Beverly Drive or if, like so many other rich and famous folks in 2006, bought the beast thinking she could flip it for a huge profit. What we do know is that Miz Stone stayed put in the nearly 8,000 square foot Dawnridge Drive mansion she bought pre-Phil Bronstein in March of 1995 for $3,200,000 and there, we'd guess, is where she'll stay.